Feelings are not up for debate

When trying to vent feelings, it can be tempting for the listener to question if the feelings are even real. For example:

This appears to be wholesome feedback, but in fact it denies the venter's feelings. This is never a productive line of questioning, and almost always leads to the inflammation of feelings and sometimes to fights.

Instead, one can isolate the feeling from the cause.

To identify the feeling, note that feelings can usually be summarised as a single word, but a cause requires many.

One can feel:

One can think and speculate:

Understanding this separation between thoughts and feelings makes it much easier to manage both.