10 second feedback

1. Ask if you can give some feedback
2. State the behaviour
3. State the impact
4. Encourage desired future behaviour (“Keep it up!” for positive feedback or “Can you change that?” for negative feedback)

For example:

Manager: Can I give you some feedback?
Direct: Sure, boss.
Manager: When you tell my boss bad news before me, even with the best of intentions, I end up getting in a lot of trouble for not knowing before he did. Can you try to tell me first, going forward?^[1]

This works because A warning before stress, reduces the stress

Caveats:

• If you are angry, do not give feedback
• Are you focused on the past instead of the future (i.e., reminding them about something they did wrong or punishing them)? If so, don’t give the feedback.
• Are you able to let it go? If not, don’t give the feedback. In other words, if you can’t let it go in terms of how you feel, you should let it go by not giving negative feedback. If you feel an urge to deliver feedback, you’re probably doing it for the wrong reasons.
• You cannot use this for negative feedback until you've had at least few months of giving positive feedback. Ignoring this rule will cause fights^[2]

Other people's thoughts

Some think step 3 State the impact may start an argument, and that it should be omitted.^[3] I think if there's a risk of an argument the entire process shouldn't go ahead.

https://critter.blog/2020/11/26/5-second-feedback/
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25221812